I think it would be impossible to get used to all of the waiting involved in surrogacy. I'm such a "take charge" person in every other aspect of my life, but in surrogacy, there's just a lot of "sit back and take it." And that's what we're doing right now.
We've gone back and forth on the contract a couple of times, but I think we probably have an agreement now. We were good on all of the big issues- it's literally a sentence or two that we're fiddling with. I'll be ready for that to be over and done with, though that's really not the hold up.
The hold up is getting medical clearance to move forward. The intended mother, N, has some medical issues that require medication. Even though the medications were recently reduced about 80% from what they were for a previous retrieval, the clinic is asking that they be approved by a medication specialist before we start moving towards cycling. We had hoped that she could get an appointment in time for me to go to Houston next week for my medical and psychological screening. No such luck. The earliest appointment was 3/9, which means my screening is delayed for another month.
Gayle thinks the clinic will want to do a mock cycle. So if we're looking at end of March for screening, then a mock cycle in April, I guess our transfer will be in May or June? I really am such a planner, and I remember all of the fuzzy details and ever-changing timing from my first surrogacy without any fondness. But I know once we get all of this out of the way, the real fun starts and it all seems worth it. M and N have already been at this for a year. I can hang in there for a few months more to make this baby a reality.
So next update in a month or so. Inching towards the goal!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Early Steps
Late last summer, I decided I'd like to be a gestational carrier again and help grow another family through surrogacy. I placed a classified ad on SMO listing my quirky requirements-- most notably that I wanted to have another home birth-- and started receiving emails in response. One of the emails was from Gayle East, who owns the agency Surrogate Solutions here in Texas. Gayle and I talked quite a bit and I filled out an application for her agency. Ultimately, I matched independently with an out-of-state couple, but I liked Gayle a lot and we agreed to keep in touch.
As fate would have it, the couple I matched with ended up getting pregnant on their own, right before we were set to start cycling. On birth control, no less! Because they had a history of miscarriage, I played cheerleader on the sidelines for the first trimester before looking to match again. Thankfully, the pregnancy has gone well and they no longer need me. Their baby should arrive this summer. I am thrilled for them!
Once I was "available" again at the end of January, I reached out to Gayle. In the fall, she'd mentioned a couple to me that she thought I would be a good fit for, and as it turns out, they were now ready to move forward. We all have complicated schedules, but within a couple weeks, I had the chance to talk to both N and M on the phone. Based on those first phone conversations and our mutual trust in Gayle's judgment, we agreed to move forward.
So here we are, tentatively matched. N and M had a previous gestational agreement, so Gayle sent me that and I made some small revisions. Normally, the intended parents (IPs) would pay for an attorney to represent the surrogate and review the contract, but because I am a lawyer who specializes in this work, I can represent myself. N and M are reviewing my revisions and we should be able to finalize the contract in the next week or so. David Cole's office in Dallas is representing the IPs and will handle all of the court proceedings for us later on.
Meanwhile, I'm gathering medical records and forwarding them to Barb, Dr. Hickman's nurse at Houston IVF. I've requested the records from USF IVF, who did the transfer for my first surrogacy in 12/2009 and from New York Fertility Services, who did my initial testing for the transfer that didn't happen this fall. I will also send records from my surrogate pregnancy and my younger daughter's pregnancy (the records from my older daughter's pregnancy were already destroyed when I requested them in 2009). There's a lot of paperwork wrangling going on. Unfortunately, it's at the same time that we're trying to wrangle paperwork to file our taxes. Too much paperwork!
When my next cycle starts at the end of this month, I'll have to go to Houston for some initial screening and for an updated psych eval. We decided that would also be a good time for all of us to meet face-to-face, just so we're not having to set up a separate trip before then (I mentioned our crazy schedules already!).
More details as they come, but this is what things look like right now, at the start of what I expect will be a fantastic adventure for all of us.
As fate would have it, the couple I matched with ended up getting pregnant on their own, right before we were set to start cycling. On birth control, no less! Because they had a history of miscarriage, I played cheerleader on the sidelines for the first trimester before looking to match again. Thankfully, the pregnancy has gone well and they no longer need me. Their baby should arrive this summer. I am thrilled for them!
Once I was "available" again at the end of January, I reached out to Gayle. In the fall, she'd mentioned a couple to me that she thought I would be a good fit for, and as it turns out, they were now ready to move forward. We all have complicated schedules, but within a couple weeks, I had the chance to talk to both N and M on the phone. Based on those first phone conversations and our mutual trust in Gayle's judgment, we agreed to move forward.
So here we are, tentatively matched. N and M had a previous gestational agreement, so Gayle sent me that and I made some small revisions. Normally, the intended parents (IPs) would pay for an attorney to represent the surrogate and review the contract, but because I am a lawyer who specializes in this work, I can represent myself. N and M are reviewing my revisions and we should be able to finalize the contract in the next week or so. David Cole's office in Dallas is representing the IPs and will handle all of the court proceedings for us later on.
Meanwhile, I'm gathering medical records and forwarding them to Barb, Dr. Hickman's nurse at Houston IVF. I've requested the records from USF IVF, who did the transfer for my first surrogacy in 12/2009 and from New York Fertility Services, who did my initial testing for the transfer that didn't happen this fall. I will also send records from my surrogate pregnancy and my younger daughter's pregnancy (the records from my older daughter's pregnancy were already destroyed when I requested them in 2009). There's a lot of paperwork wrangling going on. Unfortunately, it's at the same time that we're trying to wrangle paperwork to file our taxes. Too much paperwork!
When my next cycle starts at the end of this month, I'll have to go to Houston for some initial screening and for an updated psych eval. We decided that would also be a good time for all of us to meet face-to-face, just so we're not having to set up a separate trip before then (I mentioned our crazy schedules already!).
More details as they come, but this is what things look like right now, at the start of what I expect will be a fantastic adventure for all of us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)