Obsessive

I read back through emails Cara and I exchanged at relatively this time with my last surrogacy.  And sure enough, I was obsessing then too.

Now that we're within a week of transfer, all I want to do is read about IVF-- personal stories, scientific articles, whatever.  And then I stare at my calendar (why, I'm not sure) and then go right back to obsessing.  I read old emails, read my old blog.  There's not anything accomplished in all of this, but I'm a planner and researcher by nature, so faced with the uncertain, I binge on information.

If transfer is on Wednesday, Rick will be able to go with me.  That would be good.  My mom will watch the girls.  We'd have to leave to come home Wednesday evening, because Rick has work the next day, but that's ok too.  I travelled home the day of transfer back in '09 and that worked out just fine for us.

If transfer is on Monday, life is difficult.  I have an out-of-town meeting that I need to attend (including a session that I am facilitating), but, if need be, of course all of that can be worked around.  For a variety of reasons, though, I'll hope that everything is looking good for a 5 day transfer on Wednesday.

I think transfer is at 1:30.  And I think I'm supposed to be there an hour ahead of time.  But I'm not sure if that accounts for acupuncture time or not.  Probably not.  I'm guessing we'll probably just leave early and get to Houston at about 10:30/11 regardless.

I still need to check with M and N to see what their plans are on transfer day.

All of this is jumping the gun, of course.  We'll have a better idea of what's going on after retrieval tomorrow, and then a much better idea on Saturday, once we have the fertility report. 

Of course, the obsessing won't end on transfer day.  Because then there are HPTs.  And then there are beta levels.  And then there are ultrasounds.  I'll chill out when I start feeling rotten (from morning sickness) and don't have the energy to do any more google searches.  :)

And away we go!

N had 7-8 mature eggs at this morning's ultrasound and, based on that and lab results, Dr. Hickman decided to have her take the trigger shot today.  Yeeha!  So egg retrieval is definitely on Friday.  Transfer is most likely Wednesday, assuming a 5 day transfer is still looking good.  If the embryos aren't looking great, they could bump it up to Tuesday.

Barb emailed me two documents of instruction-- one for what to do in connection with egg retrieval, one for what to do on transfer day.  I had to translate it all to a calendar, because I still prefer the pencil-cross-off method of getting it all done.  Here's the calendar I made:

I only took it out through the day of the pregnancy test, but according to the instruction sheet, I'll use Vivelle into the 6th week of pregnancy, Crinone sometime through 9-11 weeks, and baby aspirin through 12 weeks.

Oh-- and the fish oil isn't part of the protocol, but I have it on there because I take it every day anyway, so I like to be able to cross it off too.

I emailed Barb a couple of clarifying questions.  I'm not sure if I'm supposed to use both prometrium capsules on the day of transfer or just one (and in any case, I assume it's in place of crinone, but I'm not positive).  [ETA: One prometrium on Monday, one on Wednesday, both with Crinone.  I updated the calendar.]  Also checked to see if there's any getting out of valium.  I prefer to be fully "there" for transfer and to opt out if possible.  If they think it's a crucial part of the protocol, of course I'll do it.  [ETA: Have to do it.  Bleh.]

ONE WEEK TO TRANSFER!

And can I just say I am thrilled to be done with Lupron tonight?  Goodbye, old friend.  As much as it's not a big deal, I will not miss giving myself daily shots.  I try not to repeat injection sites, but I'm running out of real estate on my belly!  I was glad to see that Vivelle won't hang on too much longer either-- pretty much just to the end of June.  Petty, but the sticky residue the patches leave is really tough to get off.  Come to think of it, none of these meds are much fun.  Just a few more weeks, though, and we should be rolling!

Egg update

N's appointment went well.  She thinks they counted about 10 follicles bigger than 10mm and another 4 that were smaller.  She had labs done that will be back later, and based on those results and daily ultrasounds, they will trigger tomorrow or Thursday for retrieval on Friday or Saturday.  Request I'm putting out to the universe: at least 4 healthy 5-day embryos.  It's looking good!

Fun Weekend

When Rick got home from work Sunday morning, we all headed to Houston to spend a couple of days with M and N.  So much fun!!  We spent hours and hours in the pool, playing volleyball and teaching Mariela to swim.  M and his brother J proved to be great swim teachers for my cautious little girl.

N and her mom had cooked us an amazing Indian lunch-- everything was delicious and restaurants are ruined for us now.  At dinner, M and J barbequed tandoori chicken and corn, with was also yummy.  And late night s'mores again.  They definitely spoil us while we're there!

The girls were thick as thieves the whole time.  This picture wasn't even posed-- they were just sitting like this when I walked into the room.

Monday morning, I had an early morning appointment (7:30) at Houston IVF for my lining check and bloodwork.  There were so many people there!  They brought me back to the blood draw station first and there were a dozen people waiting in chairs and another 8 or so standing in the hallway.  Once I was done in there, they put me in a room to wait for Dr. Hickman. 

I didn't wait long and the lining check was exceptionally fast-- he was in the room for less than a minute!  And that's *with* him doing the ultrasound.  A whirlwind.  But hey, I was out of there quickly!

After the appointment, Rick and I had breakfast and headed back to N and M's house, where all three girls were attacking/wrestling with J.  We called them off and moved out to the pool for another full day of swimming (and eating-- a light lunch of ribs and steak).  Mariela declared she was moving to Houston.  Andie wanted to finish the school year out first.

Sometime in the afternoon, Barb emailed me the results of the morning's appointment:

You look Mahhhhvelous  !

Lining is 14.2   and the estrogen is 388 –so just maintain until we have N trigger . I will scan and email GC trigger instructions to you to follow

We see N tomorrow –so we should be about ready I would think .

Sounds good to me!

We left late and got home sometime after 8 last night.  Everybody was exhausted and happy.

So now I'm anxious to hear how N's check goes today.  We're expecting egg retrieval before the end of the week, transfer 5 days later, and baby about 9 months after that.  :)

Developments

N saw Dr. Hickman yesterday.  He counted 14 total follicles.  The two largest are about 10mm, the rest are about 8.  He said he thinks the trigger shot will be on Thursday (5/31) with retrieval on Friday (6/1) and transfer on Wednesday (6/6).  He came up with those dates after looking through the chart to see how she responded last time.  It sounds to me like about the same schedule-- they ran about a week later than the projected date last time too.  She'll go back on Tuesday.

My appointment is at 8:00 Monday morning.  Bright and early, since it's a holiday and the office won't be open for the whole day.  I'm thankful that we're spending the night with M and N.  A 5:00 am departure would have been unpleasant.  The girls can hardly wait for our visit.  Mariela kept telling me "I can't wait for tomorrow!" all day today.  Rick and I are looking forward to it too.

I've been on Lupron for 4 weeks now.  Yeeha!  I'm starting to itch at the injection sites-- just for a few minutes, but it makes me think my body is starting to say "enough already!"  I had to call the pharmacy for my first two refills today-- prenatal vitamins and Vivelle patches.  If all goes according to the revised schedule, I should have exactly enough syringes for the Lupron, so hopefully the judgment call not to get more was a good one.  I'm thinking 6 days left...

And 11 days to transfer.  Ready, ready, ready!

Another day, another ultrasound

First thing this morning, I headed over to the lab for bloodwork-- estradiol again.  The phlebotomist was great; I didn't feel a thing.

At 9:30, I drove to Texas Fertility for my lining check.  Dr. Hansard did the ultrasound.  I really like her!  This was our second appointment together and she's just no-nonsense and to the point.  She agreed that it's silly to be driving to Houston for lining checks, but what can you do?  She also thinks that the check I had on Friday was inaccurate.  13.1 would be too far along for 2 weeks prior to transfer (her eyes about bugged out of her head when I said 13.1-- she was thinking our cycle was doomed).  She measured my lining at 10.7mm, which she said was much better. 

The visual:

How exciting, right?  Triple stripe pattern and all that jazz.

This afternoon I got this email from Barb:

Lab and ultrasound looks fine …keep on the same meds and  we’ll see you on Monday.
N is looking fine  …will see her back on Friday

So... looks like we're fine for now.  We'll see what Friday and Monday bring.

Waste of Time

I'm not sure if it comes across here just yet, but by and large, I'm a very positive person.  I hate ruffling anyone's feathers and I like to do what I can to make things easier for other people, even at my own inconvenience.  But today was a test of patience.

My first and last lining checks are required to be in Houston.  A little frustrating in itself, since I previously had all monitoring done locally (for an out-of-state transfer), but whatever-- I can take a few extra drives if there's something extra special the doctor wants to do.  No problem.

I diligently took the day off of work and took off for Houston after dropping the kids off at school a little before 8.  I got to Houston at about 10:30 for my 11:00 appointment, and they took me back 5 or 10 minutes early (nice).

So then I sat in the ultrasound room, realizing too late that I'd broken my "always have a book" rule.  25 minutes goes by.  Early on, there was a promise that the doctor would be in just a minute, but ultimately the knock at the door was from the tech.  She apologized and said the doctor was still with a patient, but this was "just a lining check," so she'd do it.

And she was lovely-- nothing against her personally-- but why did I spent 5+ hours in the car today if the doctor didn't actually have to see me?  A day off work, a tank of gas, and just the mind-numbing driving for... what exactly?

So my lining is 13.1 and triple-striped.  I had a blood draw for estradiol and that was apparently fine too, because I came home to an email from Barb instructing me to move to 4 Vivelle patches every other day, which was the expected outcome.

My local monitoring appointment is on Tuesday at 9:30.  Then another in Houston on Monday following-- but at least that's Memorial Day and we can make a trip of it.  And it should be the last trip before transfer!

I'll be glad when we're done with this part and pregnant!

Tiny Update

N had her appointment today.  I was wrong-- she doesn't start stims today.  She had to have her estrogen level first.  It was greater than 20, so she starts injections as scheduled-- tomorrow.  She stopped birth control pills on Monday.

So let's see.  Working backwards...

5/29 Egg retrieval would mean
5/27 Trigger would mean
5/26 Last day of stims and
5/18 First day of stims would mean

Only 9 days of stims.  Google is telling me that's within a normal range. It seems so short!  But if that's all it takes, great.

Today N had 11 follicles-- 5 on one side, 6 on the other.  Grow, eggs, grow!  Hoping every one of those follicles is cooperative.

Terrible Blogger

The weekend of May 5, we went to visit M and N (and their daughter, A).  We had a fantastic time-- the girls all got along so well, we were in the pool for hours, we ate far too much amazing food (becoming a trend on these visits), and we got to spend time with their incredible extended family as well.  My younger daughter, Mariela, got sick on the trip (stomach bug), which was messy and the definite downside to the weekend, but M and N were wonderful about it and Mariela still was not wanting to leave by the end of it.  My girls are wishing we lived across the street so we could visit every day.

Anyway, I got home with full intentions of doing a big, picture-splashed blog post and... didn't.  And then Andie got a call from a scammer/hacker, who she helpfully guided through loading a remote access program onto our computer, and that put us out of commission for a few days because I promptly freaked out and sent it to our tech guy to be wiped clean.  Excuses, excuses.  We have the computer back now, but the guy didn't reinstall Photoshop, so pictures will have to wait a few more days.  But I can at least update.

Since I last wrote, I stopped taking doxycycline and started taking baby aspirin and Vivelle.  I think for a few days there, the Lupron (ongoing) was giving me insomnia-- I never have trouble sleeping, so I have to blame it on that.  That seems to have resolved.  I had a dentist appointment this morning and she said the hormones may mess with my gums a little bit, but so far, things look pretty good.

N has her appointment at Houston IVF today and should be starting stims (the injections to stimulate the ovaries/egg production).  I'll be eager to hear what she finds out.  I have an appointment tomorrow.  It's just a lining check and I plan to drive 2.5-3 hours to get there, spend 5 minutes in the exam room, and turn around and drive back.  I'm not staying to visit this time, since Mariela has an end-of-year school function I want to get back for.  Lamenting not being able to do this ultrasound at my local clinic, but at least I get to stay local for my next appointment, on Tuesday.  I did get smart at check out an audio book for the trip this time-- Bossypants, by Tina Fey.  It's 5.5 hours, which should be just about perfect.

That's it for now.  We should be about two to two and half weeks from transfer-- not quite ready to start the countdown, but close!

Two Way Street

I emailed with Barb yesterday about questions I had regarding the calendar.  I'm glad I did!  The calendar doesn't say anything about Lupron after next week, but I will apparently be on it all the way up until N triggers and I start taking progesterone.  Important to know.  That's how it worked with my last protocol too, but I wouldn't have known without asking.  Three Lupron injections down now, no issues at all.  Last night was my last birth control pill too.  Moving forward!

Morning Edition had a story this morning about fetal cells passing into the mother's bloodstream and staying there, for good.  They found fetals cells living in the mother 40-50 years after the last pregnancy!  Different theories about what the cells are doing-- helping or hurting-- and it seems the answer is probably a little of both (making some conditions worse, helping attack others).

Combine that with the theories of epigenetics-- that mothers/carriers play a role in how the genes in an embryo are expressed-- and it seems there's a blurrier line in gestational surrogacy than you might think at first glance.  Although the baby is genetically distinct from the carrier, we will each permanently influence the other.  Our influence-- both ways-- lasts far beyond nine months gestation.  Interesting.

Unpredictable

N texted me that her cycle started Saturday, about a week earlier than we would have expected.  I thought that meant we might transfer a week earlier (which seemed possible, based on my current calendar vs. my mock cycle), but Barb said no-- it might change things by a day or so, but that's it.  She's having N start birth control pills today.  But that seems like a big step.  First day of meds for N!

Oh, I'm so excited!  Every night when I go to bed, I visualize this pregnancy and N and M's baby.  This is going to happen and it's going to be great.  We're a month away from creating a new life-- or lives, I guess.  How could that not be exciting?