Obsessive

I read back through emails Cara and I exchanged at relatively this time with my last surrogacy.  And sure enough, I was obsessing then too.

Now that we're within a week of transfer, all I want to do is read about IVF-- personal stories, scientific articles, whatever.  And then I stare at my calendar (why, I'm not sure) and then go right back to obsessing.  I read old emails, read my old blog.  There's not anything accomplished in all of this, but I'm a planner and researcher by nature, so faced with the uncertain, I binge on information.

If transfer is on Wednesday, Rick will be able to go with me.  That would be good.  My mom will watch the girls.  We'd have to leave to come home Wednesday evening, because Rick has work the next day, but that's ok too.  I travelled home the day of transfer back in '09 and that worked out just fine for us.

If transfer is on Monday, life is difficult.  I have an out-of-town meeting that I need to attend (including a session that I am facilitating), but, if need be, of course all of that can be worked around.  For a variety of reasons, though, I'll hope that everything is looking good for a 5 day transfer on Wednesday.

I think transfer is at 1:30.  And I think I'm supposed to be there an hour ahead of time.  But I'm not sure if that accounts for acupuncture time or not.  Probably not.  I'm guessing we'll probably just leave early and get to Houston at about 10:30/11 regardless.

I still need to check with M and N to see what their plans are on transfer day.

All of this is jumping the gun, of course.  We'll have a better idea of what's going on after retrieval tomorrow, and then a much better idea on Saturday, once we have the fertility report. 

Of course, the obsessing won't end on transfer day.  Because then there are HPTs.  And then there are beta levels.  And then there are ultrasounds.  I'll chill out when I start feeling rotten (from morning sickness) and don't have the energy to do any more google searches.  :)